When Cinema casts its all-seeing-eye down the lense and into the dark world of BDSM I think it deserves comment. For one it’s not necessarily a straightforward or predictably commercial subject matter to tackle. Despite its spiky stigma, BDSM is a sensitive (often misunderstood) creature. It deserves to be stroked carefully with kid gloves, (or maybe that should be latex) until it purrs like a pussy cat.

What it deserves though, isn’t necessarily what it gets. It’s often flogged gratuitously, mistreated, manipulated and manhandled in a truly callous style. The media all too happily overlooks the subtleties and the sincerities behind the scenes in favour of an attention grabbing title or tagline.

Does the media have any kind of duty to represent BDSM in an honest and earnest fashion anyway? What do you think? After all such integrity isn’t synonymous with winning Oscars or smashing profit predictions – all of which grease the commercial wheels of such enterprises. Me, a cynic?!

Moving on. Well despite my media-related misgivings I’m always fascinated to see how the world I know so well is represented….or misrepresented on the big screen.

As an avid and insatiable lover of horror films I’m poised to see what grisly treats ‘R100′ has to offer. Amusingly the plot-line reminded me of more than a few individuals who’ve written to me claiming they want to sign up for an all-consuming experience – handing over control of every tiny detail of their lives. ‘What fun,’ I reply, only to receive a follow up email breaking the sad news. Their MOT is due/they’ve contracted Ebola and maybe this can happen next year instead when they’ll definitely be back in touch. Oh and can they buy me a present (which never materialises) to make up for wasting my time. It is in fact brilliantly predictable. Let’s hope the same can’t be said for this storyline.

As for ‘My Mistress’, well visually it looks stunning. It more than resonates with my own high production values. Coupled with wonderfully shiny latex, and an actor who does it justice, I’m more than intrigued to see how this sexually formative experience unravels. I will be attending the premiere dressed in my most stunning catsuit. Come to think of it my pathetic pool boy can come too.

And as if all this wasn’t enough, with Fifty Shades of Grey also on the horizon, we’re certainly spoilt…for better or worse. Now it might not be Shakespeare but it certainly never claimed to be so there’s no point being snobbish about its literary merit. Perhaps more importantly it’s brought BDSM into the wider public consciousness and apparently the bedroom too. Personally I am all too keen to see what the Red Room of Pain holds in terms of dungeon design. I do hope the set designers have done it justice.

Well all this talk of film has wetted my appetite for finally getting ‘Alice Malice The Movie’ into production. A BDSM blockbuster of this magnitude is obviously going to require a small army of well-trained slaves behind it. Now who’s up for visiting my leather casting couch for a most unforgiving audition?