Do you like my new skin-tight jodhpurs? I thought so!

Coupled with a crisp white shirt, and knee-high leather boots they make quite the site. My troop of lazy stable boys certainly thought so until I cracked my whip and announced their annual audit was due.

Noticing that standards seemed to have slipped a little down at the paddock, I took the reigns and devised an afternoon sorting the wheat from the chaff and the hay from the nay.

The itinerary: Some serious spanking courtesy of my riding crop, a thorough tackle inspection, a boot polishing contest and a Grand National styled steeple chase with those naughty boys galloping as fast as their little legs would carry them…and me.

The results…

1) A sparkling stable
2) Some very saddle-sore bottoms
3) Boots with an exceptional spit shine
4) An efficient workforce of thoroughbred stallions.

Now where did I leave my horse?