Apart from the odd corpse of a Christmas tree still lying drunkenly in the street, I think we can safely breathe a sigh of relief and assign all-things festive to the loft for another year. Hooray.

So what’s next?

Well World Domination is high on my list, as well as other-world, other time and other space Domination. With my expertise, why limit myself to the conventional dimensions of kink? Apart from that I’m just elated to be back in my dungeon, and ensuring this year gets off to a most stellar and sadistic start.

January is typically the time when my inbox finds itself full of first-time slaves, and this year doesn’t appear to be any different. What better New Year’s resolution than to reach out to a professional in order to explore the secret side of you aching to be unleashed….and leashed?

Beware though, while conventional resolutions rarely last a few days, this is seldom the case with the intoxicating and addictive bite of BDSM. Finding the right Mistress to serve is of course all-important though so here’s a little shove in the right direction.

Q: What do I look for in a slave?

Open-mindedness (or at least being open-minded about having an open-mind), responsiveness, appreciation, respect, obedience, generosity in all things, the ability to entertain and amuse me, to be pushed (even a millimetre), to stimulate and enthral and amaze and impress.

Q: How do I approach a Mistress?

My preference is by email. Although Mistresses vary in their ideal approach. For this reason alone there’s no better piece of advice I can give than to say please have the respect, diligence and good sense to read my website carefully before approaching me (or any other Mistress).

Any well-written, and thoughtful application will be considered as long as you include my name (OBVIOUSLY!), relevant information about who you are, and what you’re wishing to explore. In return I will read your email thoroughly and tell you honestly if I think we are well-suited.

The enjoyment of BDSM really is a two-way thing for me. For this reason I am genuinely selective and exclusive. I won’t engage in anything I don’t enjoy with anyone I don’t enjoy, so if you’re lucky enough to be accepted by me then rest-assured I will have my fun with you.

Equally, just as you might not be the right slave for me, I might not be the right Mistress for you. So do your research carefully (see above), see who you feel drawn to and who shares your specific BDSM interests before sending out applications.

Q: What happens during our first meeting?

Our first encounter will always be tailored to your interests and indeed limits – assuming you know what they are. If not then it will be devoted to exploration and introductions in order to discover which elements of BDSM you identify with. I will guide you, train you, educate you and ensure you reach my exacting standards…eventually.

Q: A dungeon sounds scary. Can we start somewhere a little….less intimidating?

Oh why not. A first meeting actually need not comprise a classic session. Sometimes, a more casual encounter might be more alluring – for us both. If this is the case, then perhaps a sophisticated dinner accompanied by a little deviant discourse, an elegant afternoon tea or an intimate (yet decadent) drink in a bar might be a gentler introduction to Me, my inimitable sense of style and indeed your submissive self.

Well I think that covers the absolute basics. So I will leave you there to consider how you wish your 2019 to begin…and indeed where you wish it to end. You might well start by tentatively meeting a Mistress for an exploratory discussion over a glass of fine wine, only to finish suspended by your ankles dressed in full rubber, gagged, plugged, and being beaten into the kinky abyss.