September swoops in, and sweet memories of school holidays fade faster than your cherished suntan. The freshly painted school gates swing open and we find ourselves bristling with nervous excitement for the Autumn term to really begin. And so, I thought this week would be the perfect opportunity to showcase some rather educational photos…with a very clear message.

Miss Alice is ever-so adept at teaching unforgettable lessons to unruly pupils. Swishes and slaps echo through the corridors as she ensures her class is exemplary in every way. After all, she has the reputation of the school to uphold, as well as her own.

Even the slightest infringement of her rules will result in some very strict discipline indeed. Whether you’re called to her office for a very sound spanking or told to stay behind after class for six/sixty of the best strokes of her infamous cane, you’ll be dealt with in a most exacting and alluring manner indeed.

Her figure-hugging pencil skirt, those silk stockings and that crisp white blouse is a uniform to rival all others.  Such a perfectly polished appearance demands the attention of even the most disruptive or easily distracted of pupils.

Playing the archetypal ‘Miss’ is always one of my favourite personas. A sweet smile, a firm-but-fair attitude and a teasing glint in my eye have always proved to be the perfect prelude to a healthy dose of discipline. And there are few things I enjoy more than that sweet sting on my palm or watching those red welts appear on your flesh in lines as straight as the seams of my stockings.

The big question is, will you be bottom of my class, or in the privileged position of Teacher’s Pet? Get those apples at the ready, and fish that homework out of the dog. I will leave you with that thought, and these inspiring images and I will see you in my office soon!!