As you can tell by my silence, 2020 started in a most auspicious and adventurous fashion in The Wonderland.  You know you’ve hit the ground running when you find yourself lurching from an intense 12hrs in a WW2 Bunker to the bobbing boats and blue skies of Bangkok.

So please allow me to regale you with just one highlight of my year so far.

09:00: 29/01/20: The Grab

A small cafe in Regents Park flooded with blinding winter sunlight.  Two tall figures sit clutching coffees. Gloves tight. Hair tussled. One blonde, one brunette, their elegant black boots and red lips incongruous with their casual surroundings.  Engaged in intense discussion, they occasionally glance at their watches.  And if you dare to listen-in, they can be overheard discussing the hostage tied-up in the back of their van parked outside.

At the passionate heart of this heist are two accomplished femme fatales, each with a unique and accomplished set of skills. A good cop (Carla James) and a bad cop (Yours truly – obviously).  One sent to brutally extract all the required information by any means necessary, the other to seductively tempt and tease it out of him.  Which technique will succeed? Only time – infinite and irrelevant on this occasion, would tell.

The Location: 

An authentic WW2 Bunker in central London.  Perfectly sound-proofed, draughty, atmospheric….and utterly inescapable.

The bare walls and cold stone floor set the scene for his intimate inspection, and then his infinite captivity.  He’s certainly spoilt with intense sensations, cruel predicaments and exhaustive torment.  From sensory deprivation to deafening soundtrack. From pitch blackness to blinding lights. From solitary confinement to a sudden assault of characters…double agents, a bloodthirsty interrogator, a fellow female captive naked and shivering in her chains.

Each cinematic scene and narrative twist is designed to disorientate and intoxicate until we ultimately break our captive.  With precision we mix a kinky cocktail – forcing his heady adrenalin high to mix with a sudden rush of addictive endorphins.

Complicit in his own demise, would he play along or stubbornly refuse to cooperate? To enlighten you would be to give The Game away.  So instead I will invite you to use your own dark imagination to fill in the blanks.  Put yourself in his shoes (or perhaps that should be dusty bare feet) and allow yourself to escape into your own hypothetical heist where your personal kidnap fantasies are fulfilled.

21:00: 29/01/20: The Debrief

A reassuringly busy and bustling bistro in Marylebone.  The victim sits at the bar, clutching a strong gin and tonic.  He is approached from behind by two glamorous females carrying black hold-alls…and wearing bright smiles. Frantic discussion, laughter and audible sighs of relief soon emanate from this animated party of three.

No one could know what has just transpired or begin to guess the indignities the man in the middle has just endured.  No one could imagine the weeks of plotting, preparing and carefully crafting all the devious details which have led to this precise moment. Or the abundant red lashes scoring his rear.

My passion for such complex psychodramas (and all the adventure and escapism they encompass) is infinite. I’m always inspired by bigger, better and more elaborate escapades driven by the imagination of kinky kindred spirits. Life is made of memories…let’s make yours (and mine) most extraordinary and most Malicious indeed.