Hello slaves.

It’s been a while but at last I’m back in black. The sand is out of my suitcase, and my pedicure is as fresh as a Michalmas daisy. And just in time for the start of the new term with its shiny satchels, stiff collared shirts and new school Mistresses intent on making their mark and delivering no-nonsense lessons to their nervous pupils.

September is barely a few days old and the sunny-ish delights of summer seem to be fading as fast as my tan. Thoughts are turning to…well in my case shiny, sexy new boots. And soft furs. And brand new wicked implements.

I’ve actually had the last few weeks off whilst my beloved dungeon underwent some much needed renovations after the flood last year. It looked a little bedraggled for a while. It’s now back to its perfect best though, the smell of fresh paint is in the air and the stage is set for my return. I am unbelievably energized and excited to be getting back in the saddle, dishing out some generous cane strokes, and copious amounts of cruelty too.

Talking of which, I am also sending support and dry thoughts to any friends in Houston who might be suffering in the worst way possible right now. I hope the waters subside and you can get back to normal before too long.

I have some ‘proper’ blogs in the pipeline but I just wanted to announce my return, summon my minions and make my mission statement for the rest of 2017 exceptionally clear…maximum Maliciousness.

P.S. Twin Peaks. Subversive, surreal, and seriously strange. David Lynch is always an inspiration – to which my claret red curtains attest. Whatever unravels in tonight’s season finale will surely be a memorable end to a very memorable 18 weeks and look exceptionally stylish in the process. I want chevrons on my floor. NOW!!