Heat-wave? It’s more like a feet-wave in the Malice Palace. Out comes the sun and my feet shortly follow. And while my tantalizing toes are perfectly pedicured, they still demand some serious summer loving. Stretched out on my sun-lounger, only a slave at hand to apply sun-cream and foot-rubs will suffice.

Just a few weeks ago, it was a different story altogether. In preparation for the usual damp and downpours of April I set one of my footslaves the enviable task of cleaning my Wellington boots. Look how they shine. All the mud and muck have simply been swallowed away. What a well-trained boy he is. His reward? Oh, rest assured he was trampled and stomped into further submission before spending some serious time at heel.

My only problem now is that with hardly a cloud in the sky, my shoe closet is once again seasonally challenged. All my sexy summer sandals have come out of hibernation, and need some attention too…they had better not be kept waiting or I will seriously lose my cool!